Real Self-Care for Parent Carers: Small Steps That Make a Big Difference

Caring for a Child with Additional Needs: Where’s the Space for You?

If you’re a parent or carer of a disabled child with additional needs, you’ll already know how overwhelming and exhausting it can be. Caring for a child in this way means constantly going above and beyond, which often comes at the cost of your own well-being.

We all know the saying: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity. But how do you find time for yourself when you don’t have family or friends to lean on? When your child’s needs are so intense that leaving them alone, even for a moment, isn’t an option? When support is minimal or non-existent, and simply getting through the day feels like a victory?

For many families, particularly those caring for a child with autism or other complex needs, the challenges can feel endless. Behavioural struggles can impact every corner of family life, making even the simplest moments feel difficult. But you're not alone. There are people, charities, and courses out there designed to help. They’ll listen, offer support, and walk beside you as you navigate these tough times.

But let’s talk about you.

How do you care for yourself when you can’t even step into the bathroom without worrying that something dangerous might happen? When "me time" feels like an impossible dream?

We get it — making time for yourself might feel out of reach. That’s exactly why we’ve put together a few small, practical ideas to help bring a little relief into your day. Because when you feel even a tiny bit more grounded, that shift can ripple through everything.

Going to the gym, heading out for a long walk, or even a quick trip to the shops isn’t realistic for many parent carers. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a break, even a small one. There are gentle, manageable ways to carve out moments just for you, and they can make a real difference. You deserve care, too.

Small Acts of Self-Care That Can Make a Big Difference

Finding time for yourself as a parent or carer of a child with additional needs can feel impossible. But even the tiniest acts of self-care can help ease anxiety and bring a little calm into the chaos. Here are a five realistic ideas that don’t require hours of free time, just a few mindful moments in your day.

1. Treat Yourself - Guilt-Free

Whether it’s your favourite chocolate, a comforting snack, or a meal you love, take a moment to enjoy something that makes you happy. Yes, you might be eating it on the go, but you still deserve to savour something just for you. A small treat can lift your spirits more than you think.

2. Breathing Exercises - While the Kettle Boils

You’ve probably heard that breathing techniques can calm the nervous system. But let’s be honest: when your time and energy are stretched thin, who has the space to sit down and breathe?

Here’s a simple, realistic version. Next time you're making a cup of tea or coffee, try this exercise:

-Breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds

- Hold for 5 seconds

- Breathe out through your mouth for 5 seconds

Place a hand on your stomach to deepen the breath, and try a second round:

- Breathe in for 3 seconds

- Hold for 2 seconds

- Exhale slowly for 6 seconds

You don’t need a yoga mat or quiet room, just those few minutes while the kettle boils.

3. A Few Pages or a Few Words

We know you don’t have hours to lose yourself in a book or journal every day. But small moments still count. Try reading just 10 pages a day — perhaps while the house is quiet or first thing in the morning. Or jot down how you’re feeling, even if it’s just a few lines. Journaling helps release thoughts and emotions, making them easier to understand and manage.

It’s not about writing a novel — it’s about giving yourself permission to express what’s on your mind.

4. Fresh Air, Even for a Minute

If you can manage a short walk, even just 15 minutes, that’s amazing. But if you can’t, try something simpler — step into the garden, onto a balcony, or even just stick your head out the window. It sounds silly, but a few deep breaths of fresh air can do wonders for your state of mind.

Pair it with music you love. Whether it’s your favourite playlist, a calming radio station, or an uplifting podcast, let sound be your mini escape. Music can lift your mood, ease anxiety, and give your mind a moment to breathe.

5. Hydrate - Yes, Really

We know it’s the most boring advice out there — but it matters. Drinking more water, even just a glass or two more a day, can improve your energy, focus, and general well-being. It’s a small change with real impact. Try it for a week and notice the difference.

6. Tapping videos on youtube 

Tapping on acupressure points while speaking affirmations helps calm the nervous system. For SEN parents facing daily meltdowns, appointments, sleep deprivation, and advocacy challenges, this can lower cortisol levels and create a sense of calm.

Caring for a neurodivergent child can bring up intense emotions — guilt, frustration, sadness, or helplessness. Tapping helps parents process these emotions without judgment, so they don’t build up or spill out in harmful ways.

Tapping encourages gentle self-talk and presence, which SEN parents often struggle with. It becomes a reminder: “I deserve care too.” Even 5 minutes a day can make a difference in their mindset.

By calming the body before bed, tapping can improve sleep quality. Better sleep means more resilience the next day — something that can be hard to come by in SEN households.

Watching tapping videos made for SEN parents (especially when shared by people who get it) can help reduce feelings of isolation. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone in their feelings.

7. Call someone 

SEN parenting can feel incredibly lonely. Just hearing another person’s voice, someone who listens without judgment, reminds them they’re not invisible. It says: “You matter.”

Many SEN parents keep it together all day for their children, school staff, therapists, and even their partners. A short, safe phone call gives them permission to let go. That cry isn’t weakness… it’s release.

Crying and verbalising feelings activate the parasympathetic nervous system… the part responsible for rest and recovery. Even a few minutes of being heard can shift a parent from survival mode into a calmer, more grounded state.

When things feel too much, a friendly check-in can interrupt the spiral of stress and self-doubt. A listening ear can gently remind them of their strength, even if they don’t feel strong in that moment.

Sometimes SEN parents don’t want strategies or fixes. They want someone who says: “That sounds really hard and I’m here.” That kind of emotional validation can be more healing than any solution.

A cry over the phone with someone kind can be the opposite of embarrassing — it can be cleansing. It allows the parent to stop pretending and start releasing. No masks, no filters, just truth.

After the call, they might still be tired or sad but they’re no longer alone in it. That makes all the difference. It can refill a little of their emotional tank so they can keep going.

8. Write down all your feelings

SEN parents often don’t have time for long journaling sessions or therapy appointments. Setting a 3-minute timer creates a safe, time-limited space to dump their thoughts — raw, messy, and unfiltered, onto paper.

✨ “I feel broken. I’m exhausted. I don’t know how to keep doing this.”
Saying it privately and honestly on paper is freeing.

Once those feelings are outside their head and on the page, they become easier to see, process, and eventually let go of. It’s like pulling a tangled knot out of the brain.

Ripping up, burning (safely), or scrunching and binning the paper is a physical act that says:
“These thoughts do not own me.”
It’s a ritual of letting go, which can feel incredibly empowering — especially when the emotions feel too heavy to carry any longer.

When you know no one will read it, you can finally say the things you're afraid to admit — like:

“I don’t like parenting right now.”
“I feel jealous of other families.”
“I want to run away.”

Letting yourself write the truth with zero consequences helps SEN parents stop bottling up shame, which is a major source of stress and burnout.

This process takes just 3–5 minutes and doesn’t require anyone else. It’s something a parent can do in the bathroom, car, or kitchen — anytime they feel like they’re about to break.

It reminds SEN parents:
💡 “I can’t control everything in my life — but I can release what’s stuck inside me.”
That’s a small but vital step in reclaiming a sense of power and calm.

Remember: You’re doing an incredible job, even when it doesn’t feel like it. These little acts of care are for you — because you matter too.